Stay tuned....

Today I was walking down the street and the homeless paper vendor that I pass almost daily popped into my head.  I don't give money to people I see begging on a daily basis.  It's a weird thing with me, but in my mind if they see me every day they may expect me to give them money every day, and I just can't do that.  I also hesitate because in a city this big, you just don't know who really needs help and who is just faking it.  Cynical enough for you? 

But today, when this particular vendor popped into my head, I hadn't even seen him yet.  "You have to give him money" popped into my mind.  "Uh, no." was the response.  I could have still crossed the street at this point to avoid the whole situation.  I could have, technically, there was a street to cross.  But I couldn't do it, didn't even enter my mind.  And as I turned the corner and started reaching into my purse for $2 (price of the paper) I realized that I wasn't in control of this.  So I went with it - I didn't really have much of a choice and at this point I realized who the instructions were coming from and wouldn't have said no anyway.

I made eye contact - I think that's possibly the first time - stopped and gave him the money.  As I walked away I wondered if that was the end of the incident.  Something told me there was more to it.   I'm reading Max Lucado's Out Live Your Life.  Today I was reading the chapter Blast A Few Walls.  It talks about "breaking down barricades that separate God's children from each other."   The passage that caught me was "Do any walls bisect your world?  There you stand on one side.  And on the other?  The person you've learned to disregard, perhaps even disdain."

As I was reading all this what popped into my mind is I have to go tomorrow, I have to give him a couple more dollars, but this time I have to tell him that God is leading me to him and find out what his name is.  Why finding out what his name is seemed important I don't know, but it did.   I stopped reading and prayed for guidance.  If he's there tomorrow (there are days he's not) obviously I won't be able to carry this out.  If he is, well I guess stay tuned.   :)

I considered not posting this until I knew what I was going to do, but that seemed like cheating and not giving God the glory He is due.  And then there's that other double edged sword - accountability.  :)